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Sue me. Actually don’t

September 26, 2024   ·   1 Comments

By Jasen Obermeyer

Recently, I was walking down the road when a stranger burped about five feet away from me. The smell was so horrendous I stumbled, and twisted my ankle. I’m in the process of suing that person for negligence; $10,000 in medical expenses, and $500,000 for psychological and emotional trauma.

Okay, do you really think that happened? Don’t worry, it didn’t. I don’t think the smell would cause me to fall. And I wouldn’t sue for such a ridiculous reason. But unfortunately, it happens.

In today’s world of Tort law, in particular civil suits, it seems you can be charged with anything. You can sue anyone, no matter how ridiculous the reason, or reasons, are.You seek monetary compensation for losses or injury through this extreme form of restorative justice.

A Simcoe woman is facing criminal charges for assault with a weapon after she accidentally sprayed her neighbour with a water gun. She was having a water gunfight with a neighbour’s child, and as she was chasing the kid, she accidentally sprayed a neighbour with water. In an interview, Wendy Washik said she apologized, but the neighbour kept screaming at her. She works at a school board and has been placed on leave till the case is settled.

What a ridiculous situation. I’m sure it was an accident. Just simply dry your wet shirt, and put another one on. Even if it was intentional, I don’t think charges are necessary. Maybe call the police for harassment if it’s a repeated offence. But it’s not. And what a stressful situation to be in, both financially, socially, and for your record.

I’ve heard cases where someone tries to sue another, and the amount in ‘psychological/emotional damage or distress’ is way more than the actual amount under the charge. It’s very obvious when someone is taking advantage of the law, bending it to their will, abusing it.

In 2017, a Texas man filed a lawsuit against his date after she was texting for several minutes while watching a movie at a theatre. He sought $17.31 in damages, the price of the ticket. The woman did reimburse the man, most likely to get him to leave her alone and not go to court. But seriously, if it was taken to court, it would cost more in legal fees than a movie ticket. Yeah, it’s not nice, and is against theatre policy to text while watching a movie, but it’s not enough to file a lawsuit. 

Frivolous lawsuits should always be tossed out, and fortunately, it seems, many are.

In Kansas, in 2009, Jesse Dimmick broke into a couple’s home, holding them hostage as he was a wanted murderer. After he fell asleep, the couple escaped, and he sued them for breaching the oral contract. Well, holding them at knifepoint, they didn’t have much of a choice in the matter and didn’t willingly agree. A judge dismissed the suit. Suing your own hostages; can’t make this stuff up.

Probably the most famous example is in Seinfeld when Kramer sues Java World after he accidentally spills coffee on himself, scalding him. He files a lawsuit against the company, and despite being told coffee is supposed to be hot, he says “not that hot.” He even told his lawyer he wasn’t able to sip it in his normal fashion, and the flimsy top was put on by the company. Crazy as it sounds, this part of sipping and the flimsy top are enough to build a case.

It’s actually a parody of the real-life McDonald’s Coffee Case. Now there are warning labels.

It also doesn’t help when lawyers fan the flames, manipulating people to get more money because, just like a salesman or relator, they will get a bigger bonus if they win their client’s money. A quick, easy buck.

A fictional – albeit plausible – example is in the movie Liar Liar. Jim Carrey’s character’s assistant recalled a lawsuit involving her friend; a burglar attempted to enter their home, fell through the kitchen skylight, and landed on a cutting board with a butcher’s knife, cutting him. The burglar successfully sued her friend, getting $6,000.

She says that because of lawyers like Jim Carrey, justice was not served properly. His response? He could’ve gotten the burglar $10,000.

If excessive lawsuits are a norm, then it creates fear and paranoia, because you need to be extremely careful of what you do. You can be sued for any small reason.

I believe Tort reform comes from several levels; police, the court, lawyers, and judges. The impact of Tort litigation is that these excessive lawsuits cost time and money. Time, money, and resources that are better spent on more serious, actual cases.

If a person brings forth a crazy lawsuit, and the judge throws it out, I believe that person should be fined. Think of it as a sort of penalty tax, a deterrent from people concocting these get-rich-quick schemes.

Remember, coffee is hot!

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