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A little bit of humour

April 9, 2020   ·   0 Comments

By Brian Lockhart

A rabbit walks into a pub, sits down at the bar and orders a beer and a hamburger.

He does this for several nights in a row.

Finally the bartender, curious about this newcomer, asks the rabbit if he is new in town.

The rabbit explains that he is an expert in renovating old buildings and was hired to rebuild the steeple on the local church.

“You speak very good English,” says the bartender.

“Well, I was born in this country,” the rabbit replies.

Later in the week a travelling circus arrived in town and set up a large tent in which to hold their show.

The owner of the circus was an old friend of the bartender’s and he stopped in at the pub for a drink.

The bartender tells the circus owner about the talking rabbit that has been coming into the bar every night.

“That’s astounding,” says the circus owner. “Please give him my business card. I think a talking rabbit would be a great sideshow. Tell him he could make a lot of money.”

The next night the rabbit arrives at the bar and orders his usual beer and hamburger.

The bartender hands him the business card and tells him he may have a lucrative business opportunity for him working in his friend’s circus.

The rabbit looks at the business card and asks, “Is this the circus just outside of town with a big canvas tent?”

“Yes,” replies the bartender excitedly. “My friends wants to offer you a deal to work there.”

The rabbit looks puzzled and asks “Why would a circus with a tent need a bricklayer?”

Hit the cymbal!

I think we can all use a little levity during this time.

This whole social distancing experience seems to be going two ways.

Some people are growing tired of this situation and getting restless, but hoping for a quick return to normalcy.

Others seem to have embraced this as the new normal method of living in society.

I hope that certainly isn’t the case. There’s no point in being part of a society if you are afraid to stand next to a person and are terrified of catching germs while visiting your family, friends, or neighbours.

I was lined up with several others the other day waiting to get into a store – for a legitimate home purchase, nothing frivolous.

The fellow behind me was wearing coveralls, a hood over his head, and some kind of full-blown gas mask that looked like he was getting ready to spray a highly toxic pesticide on a potato patch.

Walking down the main aisle, I realized I had overshot the runway and needed to backtrack to find the item I needed.

I turned around to see gas mask guy around ten feet behind me. He froze when I turned around.

He appeared terrified that I might walk toward him and send a spray of germs, bacteria, and viruses into the air around him.

You don’t have to glare at me twice. I gave him a wide berth, and he continued on in a state of apparent terror.

My own family has been hit hard by this crisis in a way we could never have imagined.

We had to plan a funeral. Except under the current rules, there is a limited number of people allowed to attend.

Originally we were told we could have a grand total of five in attendance and that included an officiant.

That number was updated to ten.

Most people have at least that number in their own family when you include immediate family, siblings, nephews and nieces, and cousins.

Factor in that a person has lived their entire life in the same city and was involved in many organizations and had many friends, and the number of people who wanted to attend was far above just the ten allowed.

Funeral homes now have a proper grieving protocol listing handshakes, hugs, and any form of contact as being unacceptable.

We had to settle for a simple graveside service. No traditional visitation with friends, no eulogy, no music.

It was just a simple goodbye.

When this current lunacy is over, we will hold a memorial service and welcome friends and family to celebrate a life well lived.

I certainly hope we will not accept this as being the new way of being social.

Human contact is important at every level of your life.

In the meantime: A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “What’s with the long face?”

Live well, my friends.


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