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Proud MENtor Travis Greenley takes daily ‘Walk in her Shoes’

November 21, 2019   ·   0 Comments

By Constance Scrafield

Travis Greenley is being hosted by BookLore to launch his new book, A Walk in Her Shoes, next Wednesday, Nov. 27, from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. 

In an interview with Mr. Greenley in a local coffee shop, we discussed his book, his extraordinary job and the fact he is on a life’s quest to learn how to do it.

Mr. Greenley is the only man in an organization dedicated to ending Violence Against Women (VAW) as a Violence Prevention Educator. All the other employees of the VAW are women. For the purposes of this feature, Mr. Greenley was clear that he was not authorized to speak for his employer but, as new author, about his book and, for the sake of the ideas he expressed and that are expressed in his book, we were free to speak.

The facts are that violence against women, here in our own beautiful town and region, is common. The women’s shelters are filled and the point of Travis Greenley’s job is to run programs in schools for students in elementary – grades five to eight and high schools, specifically grade nine, to talk about violence and how to avoid it.

Just standing in front a classroom of student 12 to 14 years old and talking about the subject was never going make an impact, so, Mr. Greenley has had to devise a series of games, art, music -and more. 

But stop – how did he, a business man with a well paying job end up in such a challenging job, one for which he had no particular qualifications?

Thirteen years later, he didn’t seem absolutely sure.

He told it: “I was looking for a job -” 

Citizen: “We thought you had a job -” 

Greenley, “I was answering an ad anyway. It was a job to work with youth in schools to try to prevent violence before it happens by education and broadcasting.” 

Citizen: “What were your qualifications?”

Greenley: “I had worked with youth in Georgian College and I had a job at MacDonald’s. I’m not sure. My wife worked at the VAW and our daughter was two years old. That was a big factor – I wanted the world to be a safer place for her to grow up.”

He began to take us on the road of discovery – for himself and otherwise – that he has travelled and attempted, with good success, to tell in his new book.

“My dad was a police officer, now retired,” he told us, “My step-mother worked for Orangeville Police Service and my mother – I’m so lucky to have two mothers – lives in Oshawa and is a retired nurse. These have been strong role models. I have two sisters and a brother. 

“I just felt I was prepared to do this job because I knew nothing different. I feel that all people should be treated with respect and kindness and I thought I understood the issues that affect men and women. I know that if we oppress one part of society, we oppress it all.”

He learned to observe imbalances in ways he had not before. Things that he might have missed, might have dismissed, Mr. Greenley was starting to notice, to object.

“It was odd – if my partner said something to a group, she might be looked on as a power seeker, but if I said the same thing to the group, I was judged as confident.

“We can break the cycle through education – I hope.”

There are stepping stones, lessons that, while he is conducting them, they are teaching him too: an obnoxious teen in one of his groups, always wise cracking and on the look-out to be booted out, was silent through one of the games. A thousand Monopoly dollars each boy was given to bid on many things, one of which was “a healthy relationship.” The disruptive boy was quiet while all the others chased clothes, cars, etc.

Finally he spoke up: “$1,000, all of it,” he said – “on the healthy relationship-”

In answer to my surprise, he retorted, “All my mother’s boyfriends are jerks and they have all treated her like crap. I don’t want that.”

He does “lots of work in high schools with groups of boys who are chosen to participate. Being there is absolutely up to them and it’s interesting how many of them keep coming back. At first, they think they’re there because they’re in trouble or something.”

In fact, over his time doing this job, Mr. Greenley has felt they might be doing something right because, quite often, the very people he expects to reject what is being discussed come back for more.

“We do talk about substance abuse with teens, this usually begins to impress a friend or a person they want to like them. But what it comes down to is what is more important? That ‘friend’ or your health?

“For boys’ groups,” he went on to say, “it can be a difficult nut to crack: they don’t want to talk about things of substance because they’ve been told they can’t.”

After 13 years, people grow up: “I saw a guy in Toronto, who came up to me and thanked me for the lessons I taught when he was in grade eight.”

We talked about social media: “Everyone’s greatest hits are there – so much of it is just made up and then people get found out – it’s a spinning ball of insecurity – the video game mentality transfers to interaction online.”

He admitted, “I’m passionate about living by a core set of values and this is a big part of the reason in writing this book. It was even more important that I do this for my daughter.”

His vision, “I see me doing this for a lot longer and I feel very lucky to do it. I work exclusively with women colleagues – I’m the only male employed there … in a field of violence against women. It’s very daunting but necessary – we can’t proceed unless we work together.”

He said, “Hope is the driving force and the cornerstone of what I do every day. My job is the hope portion.”

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