Commentary

The Santa Claus Parade

December 4, 2025   ·   1 Comments

By Keith Schell

When I was young, one of the many things that helped build our family’s excitement for the Christmas season was the multitude of Santa Claus parades held all over our region.
We would enjoy our hometown Santa Claus parade and then visit neighbouring towns on the following weekends to enjoy their parades as well.

Most of the parades I remember had floats made from 18-wheeler flatbed trailers towed by big trucks, smaller trailers pulled by regular trucks or tractors, some lovely horse-drawn wagons, clowns handing out candy to all the kids, and an impressive number of marching bands from across the district. And, of course, the highlight of every parade was the appearance of Santa Claus at the very end.

One year in my early twenties, I had taken a job out of town. I made plans to go home for a visit one December weekend, but my family informed me they were going to see a Santa Claus parade in a neighbouring town that Saturday morning. Since I had to pass through that town on my way home anyway, I agreed to stop in and meet up with my family so we could all enjoy the parade together.

I arrived a little later than planned and finally found a parking spot—very far from where my family had gathered. Because the parade had already started, I decided to stay where I was and watch from there, then meet up with my family at our designated spot after the parade had completely passed by.

It was a nice parade, as always—very well done. But the planners made a minor strategic mistake that year in terms of float placement.

They put the horses toward the front of the parade.

Usually, that is not a big deal, because often you see some unlucky clown with a spade and a wagon and a silly little grin on their face following right behind the horses to scoop up any deposits they might leave on the street.

But that year, someone forgot to tag a clown for that undesirable duty. And that created an unforgettable parade memory for me.

The parade rolled along beautifully, with smiling clowns handing out candy to folks on the sidewalk and nicely decorated floats filled with happy, excited little kids joyously waving to everyone in the crowd—especially when they spotted someone they knew! Very small-town, very endearing, and very Canadian.

Then along came a huge pair of Clydesdale horses, beautifully brushed and gussied up for the parade, sporting bells and ribbons and pulling a nicely decorated wagon. They looked stunning.

As the team passed the spot where I was standing, one of the Clydesdales took the opportunity to drop a big, steaming road apple right in the middle of the street!

And right behind the horses came a high school marching band.

The band was in perfect lockstep, playing a lovely Christmas tune. Suddenly, the guy marching at the front of the band—directly in line with the road apple—spotted it while playing his instrument. And so did his buddies on either side of him.

His eyes darted back and forth as he tried to find a way to avoid the upcoming doody dropping. He couldn’t move around it, and his bandmates, all in rigid formation and sporting evil grins on their faces, wouldn’t let him break rank anyway.

As the band got closer, I could see the wheels turning in the poor schmuck’s mind, trying to figure out how to avoid stepping in the fresh fecal landmine he was approaching.

Finally, the moment of truth was upon him.

And he did the neatest two-step I’ve ever seen in my life!

Everyone around me burst out laughing. The guy who did the two-step had a big, silly grin on his face afterward, and all the band members around him were grinning or chuckling under their breath as they continued to play without missing a beat.

Through sheer happenstance, the rest of the band managed to avoid the road apple. It wasn’t a problem for any of the other floats or marching bands that came afterward, and the rest of the parade went off without a hitch.

It’s funny the things you remember sometimes. Of all the happy Santa Claus parades I saw when I was younger, this is the funniest memory that still stands out for me to this day. And I still smile when I think about it.

Just one of those happy small-town memories that stays with you. Hope your Santa Claus parades brought you a few of your own!

Readers Comments (1)