Commentary

Monthly Message: Helping kids hold their boundaries during the holiday season

December 11, 2025   ·   0 Comments

By WonderTree

The holiday season is often filled with warmth, connection, and joyful traditions shared with loved ones. But for many families, this time of year can also bring stress, particularly when gatherings involve relatives who may not fully understand or respect personal boundaries. As parents, one of the greatest gifts we can offer our children is the assurance that they are safe, supported, and heard, even in situations that feel overwhelming.

Teaching children about boundaries is more than a seasonal concern; it is an essential life skill. In a world that often praises politeness and going along with the crowd, boundaries remind children that their comfort matters. When a child learns to say, “My feelings matter, and so do I,” they are building a foundation of self-respect that will carry them into adolescence and beyond. Boundaries also help children form healthy relationships and protect them from interactions that feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

As families prepare for holiday visits, dinners, and celebrations, a bit of preparation can go a long way in helping children feel confident and supported. Start with open conversations. Explain what boundaries are in simple, age-appropriate language and encourage children to share what makes them feel comfortable or uncomfortable. This helps normalize boundary-setting as a healthy part of interacting with others.

Setting expectations ahead of time can also reduce stress for both children and parents. Talk about what kinds of interactions they may encounter, such as relatives who expect hugs or kisses or ask personal questions. Let your child know they are allowed to decline affection politely and that you are there to step in if needed, or you can offer to support boundary-setting in advance of family gatherings. These conversations help children understand that their autonomy is respected.

Parents can also teach by example. When adults model respectful communication, whether by declining intrusive questions or calmly asserting personal space, children see that boundaries are not about conflict, but about self-respect. Creating a designated quiet space at gatherings can give children a place to regroup if things become overwhelming, and preparing a few simple phrases they can use (“I’m not comfortable with that,” or “I need a break”) gives them practical tools to draw on in the moment.

It’s equally important to offer support when children show discomfort, whether verbal or otherwise. Sometimes a child will communicate their boundaries through actions like pulling away or looking distressed. These moments are opportunities for parents to advocate on their behalf, making their limits clear in a gentle, respectful way.

After the festivities, take a few minutes to check in. Ask your child how they felt, what went well, and whether anything made them uneasy. These conversations not only validate their experiences but also strengthen their confidence in communicating openly with you.

Teaching children to understand and honour their boundaries is a gradual process. With each conversation and each supportive moment, we equip them with skills that will serve them well long after the holidays are over. And for families who may need additional guidance in navigating tricky social situations or helping children assert themselves with confidence, WonderTree clinicians are here and ready to support you!

If you want more help learning how to support your children in asserting their own boundaries and navigating difficult situations, reach out to us today!

Happy Holidays from the WonderTree team!

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