Commentary

International Women’s Day celebration

March 12, 2026   ·   0 Comments

On March 5, International Women’s Day was marked at Hockley Valley Resort, sponsored once again by the wonderful staff at Family Transition Place, our local women’s shelter for abused women and their children.

As I walked into the enormous reception room, I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were in attendance, and I wondered how many among those gathered here were survivors of Intimate Partner Violence. For this is what Family Transition Place is all about: giving shelter to many women of all ages who have stepped away from abusive relationships.

I was amazed as well at the many women and some men who were there and whom I knew had never experienced Intimate Partner Violence, yet they financially support the work of our local women’s shelter. It was a very moving experience, along with the indigenous women’s musical performance.

As I continue to be an advocate for Intimate Partner Violence due to my own personal experience with this very tragic issue, I would like to honour this occasion and continue my work in trying to help others who have experienced Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Violence. To admit that you are living with someone who, in anger, hits you, who slanders you, who continually abuses you, is a very private and painful issue.  And when the abuse endangers the victim, a call to 911 and the police changes their lives forever.

Through my textile designwork (as a later-in-life graduate of design from the Ontario College of Art (& Design U), I have created a series of wall quilts on what Intimate Partner Violence feels like, trying to put a visual face to this very serious issue in society today.

Through my work, I have spoken with a number of victims/survivors. I have heard repeatedly how victims’ experiences with the police and, in particular, with family law, our present court system and judges have been very upsetting for them, feeling as though they were being abused all over again. Frankly, it is still a man’s world in family court insofar as the “he said/she said” issue results in many abusers walking away from lawful responsibility towards the abuse they have inflicted upon another in a marriage or relationship.  

One survivor I know of, Cait, had been left for dead lying on the floor of her home after being assaulted by her partner. She only survived as she was able to crawl to her computer and send a message to a friend to help rescue her. She has since been invited personally to speak about her experience with the Federal Government’s Women’s Committee in Ottawa, yet, when this meeting started, she was told by the moderator that she had only five minutes to speak. Five minutes to describe the horror of what she had experienced. And all too soon, this government meeting turned into a political nightmare.

One MP accused the committee of not being given an equal opportunity to bring to the meeting someone of her own choice, and before long, the meeting dissolved into a politician’s bloodbath. Cait finally turned her back on the committee, along with another speaker, and both walked out. In tears.

Domestic violence or Intimate Partner Violence, IPV, as it is now called, is not taken seriously enough by those in government and subsequently in the courts by judges. As much as our Ontario Premier Doug Ford has spoken out in support of this issue, his government still refuses to declare Intimate Partner Violence an epidemic. One might ask why?

The police are the first line of contact for a victim in their call to 911, and from my own personal experience, I know that a domestic violence call is not always well-handled by the police. The interaction with the police and victims of IPV could do with considerable improvement.

For example, I know of one recent incident with the police when a victim/survivor filed a complaint regarding the repeated violation of a restraining order by her former husband.  She asked that the complaint be filed with the Intimate Partner Violence section of the OPP department, as this is what her complaint was in reference to, but instead, her complaint was given to a road cop, a constable who did not have any training in dealing with IPV and while he tried to deal with this violation of the restraining order which the police are required to do, he finally declared it was not of a “malicious” nature or intent and dismissed the complaint without informing the victim/survivor.  What the police apparently did not take into account was the fact that the offender had a police record of mental health issues and arrests with the OPP in Dufferin County.  This is what lay behind the woman’s complaint.  She is still fearful of her former husband’s mental health issues.

Perhaps you might now understand why victims of abuse feel negated by the police and by the courts of law and judges. Hopefully, a dialogue between the police and victims and Family Transition Place may take place in the near future to build bridges towards improving the police responders’ involvement in Intimate Partner Violence and its victims.  IPV is a tragedy many women experience, and some men too, and it is time our governments stepped up and acknowledged that it is of epidemic proportions in our society today.

Sandra Small Proudfoot

(AOCA’89)

Mono

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