Commentary

If one insists on being in charge

March 5, 2026   ·   0 Comments

By Constance Scrafield

The time-honoured 20-minute recess twice a day at elementary schools has recently been studied and confirmed as being an essential part of students’ days. A silly exercise, really – we all knew that, although it was my habit to try to avoid the benefits of fresh air and playtime with others to dodge the pain of the cold on winter days – even in the sunshine – and more to the point, the bullies.

Anthropologically and from a safe distance of time, it was interesting to observe the schoolyard recess dynamics at the Hockley Valley school Patricia attended, where I served as a parent supervisor during recesses alongside another mom.

Inevitably, groups formed, rarely mixed as to gender – boys frequently roughhousing, which did not necessarily mean fighting but playing at it, as though rehearsing for times to come.

The girls stood together, with their pre-adolescent inclination to watch the boys or gossip about them and about things the teachers said. The younger children played and chased each other, making lots of noise – all excellent release from lessons and the restraints of uncomfortable desks and chairs.

With the extraordinary experience of entering high school, students rapidly began to show shades of their future adult selves as the demands of school dictated, not only academically but as fully important, socially. Those elementary school recesses were a training ground for coping and establishing their place in the social pecking order or a life of independence.

“Like father, like son” emphasizes how fundamental the influence and, hence, the responsibility of parenthood is. Children usually come into the lives of their parents at the busiest time of their lives. Home and career building, and many other commitments, can take up too much attention and time, but we also teach our children life lessons by example.

I believe that, even very young, we pay much more attention to the adults in our lives than those adults admit. Our failings and strengths, how we see the world and ourselves in it, and how we relate to and deal with each other within and outside the family, are all unwittingly noted by the youths we love.

In high school, those lessons might well be influencing how we interact within the new world that preoccupies and forms us over the four or five years of growth and learning.

The fundamentals of science and math, history and language, sports and socializing, music, drama, clubs: the chance to work almost as equals with adults; the head bumping of emotional crises all mold us, with the clay that is each of us so far.

These are the years when ambition truly strikes, shaped by the examples our parents have set in their own careers. Now the student groups that come together dabble in adult responsibilities, experiments in being adults – smoking, falling in love, taking on leadership roles among their peers, challenging authority all rehearse them for the trials and rewards that the world beyond the nest of family and school will present.

Then, like a massive bucket, high school dumps us out into the world at large, some to the further refuge of higher learning, others to training for trades, or to taking time off for ourselves to think about it.

Along that long road, the first 20 years of our lives more or less direct us; the die is often cast. Of course, from the beginning, money – wealth to poverty – has played an essential role in the whole picture. It can – or maybe not – steer all that happens next as choices and new connections in the wide world are made.

Yet, this is the era of surprises, when the very much expected becomes something else because there are no guarantees.

Yet, this is the start of the road when the system fails us, for all the early lessons of pecking orders – who is rich – who is capable, trustworthy; who can resist corruption and fear.

When it comes to whom of the choicest candidates for leadership will come up to the mark? Really?

None of them.

Many will start well but then slide to betray, lie, feed their buddies; compromise where none is valid – blatantly break the law, cover their misdemeanours with rhetoric and charm, as others before them have done.

Am I being harsh?

We lead good lives here in Dufferin County, although the social problems of crime, homelessness, and the demands on the food bank are shocking, given that the community has a lot going for it. This is an exceptionally caring community, one that protects and supports its own. The strength and clarity of the local government sets the bar for how to run a constituency that other provincial and national levels ignore.

Right here, the constant threats of serious environmental damage keep coming from an unnecessary highway, a devastating gravel pit, and rampant development. Across the country, there is talk of building yet another pipeline, crushingly flying in the face of our absolute need to stop the flow of oil.

Our future may be attending the two high schools in town. I hope they hurry. I hope they change everything forward to healing.

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