Commentary

Howling at the Moon

September 24, 2026   ·   0 Comments

By Constance Scrafield

It is just coming up to four o’clock in the morning. I was writing about Lance Secretan, trying to figure out how ever was I going to convey the main gist of who he is and his completely revolutionary way of running a business, running a life, basically: be kind to each other.

That’s the really most basic version of it. On its feet, Lance’s lessons are very wordy – lots of very good words trying to explain the idea of being civil at least and ready to help where needed at best. More than that too.

By and large, he is talking to businessmen – that was the case, travelling all around the world talking to the hard-hearted who believe “only profit matters” and if you can’t stand the pace or you think you’re not getting your share of the rewards such hard work and tenacity might yield, then get out.

A tough, successful boss does not need his staff to like him – keep that distance – keep them in line.

Then along comes Lance, who sees how those tenets as the wrong way to do business and proposes, “everything that boss did that wasn’t working, I did the opposite.”

There began the growth and recognition of the opposite of indifference, to focusing primarily on the bottom line. Acknowledging that the bottom line matters, what changes is caring about employees. Lance calls it inspiration.

He paces back and forth on the stage as he talks to business people during his lectures about a different way to treat employees – to treat other people at all; influentially, he brings love into his talk, looks on love as an essential part of running a business, a town, a nation. Indeed, at one time and another, he has been heard and believed by those who subsequently flourished.

It is a lesson for us all. In particular, can Lance’s approach to living our lives, really and how we live it in relation to each other actually create a change across the broad sweep of human-to-human behaviour?

Beginning with social media and the weird cruelty that can be seen there all the time, I wonder if there is a way to cool the hurtfulness online. Someone once told me that there is a fashion for people to wish harm to another person, just typing it in – “I wish you harm and sickness…”

Lance would point to the chemistry in our brains over such behaviour, for no harm can be wished that does not come back to the person wishing it. He talks about how the chemistry in our brains reacts to negativity, how it deals with it poorly, how such negativity makes both of us ill, whereas the opposite is true with kindness, love and support – “how can I be of help to you?”

I have friends who would jump in by asking if this is a new religion, and I could answer no, not at all; it is just common sense to be positive in our exchanges, just good mental health, dodging the depression bullet – and we all know what the dangers of depression are…

When Lance and I were talking, I did not ask him if the Beatles and their song, All You Need Is Love, was an influence. I didn’t think of it, but they were also doing their bit to promote more loving societies.

How did we ever agree that ours and our children’s main source of entertainment should be violent?

Why is watching violence, images of (even) movie-style torture considered a good time?

I didn’t ask Lance what movies he watches, but it would have been an interesting question.

Maybe we are not sure what we strive or wish for in our lives. Who our self-image is; when we look in the mirror, who we see. We notice changes in our image as our lives progress, and we live them with the information we have chosen to believe and the choices we have made.

During a time when I was dealing with a tragedy in my life, I used to look in the mirror frequently – I guess to see how I was dealing, what my mirrored image told me. If I was still there.

It is wonderful to know that Lance is still talking about how much better we are, how much more the chemistry our brains put out is better when we ourselves are loving and caring for each other.

By the bye, Lance and his work have been recognized by the prestigious International Caring Award, keeping company with Mother Teresa, The Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Jimmy Carter and Jane Goodall.

Our lives and, more importantly, our children’s lives are wasting precious time when we indulge the negativity that tempts us to see it as accepted behaviour or good entertainment.

It is unlikely that Lance or the many people who enter his courses at the Secretan Centre can change a world, imbued with violence and hurt as we are, but there is every reason for them to continue, if it is only to wish good brain chemistry for our youngsters.

Turns out the strong boss does need his employees to love him.

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