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The lap cat

November 25, 2022   ·   0 Comments

By Keith Schell

The third and final cat we had in our family was a pretty little black-and-white female who never met a lap she didn’t like. And because of that, we had a family ritual that occurred almost every evening in our house as we were growing up.  

After dinner was eaten and dishes and homework were done, we five family members (Mom, Dad and us three boys) would usually end up in the living room, settling down for the evening on the couch and assortment of comfy chairs, and trying to decide which TV programs we were going to watch on the only two channels (CBC and CTV) we got on our newly purchased 1974 colour TV. 

And as we were sitting around deciding what to watch, our family cat would usually enter the living room.

Once she saw we were all settled in to watch TV, our cat would begin to make the most important nightly decision she would ever have to make in her entire lifetime: 

Which lap was she going to spend the entire evening sleeping in?

With a sense of self-importance that only a cat can have, she would walk from person to person, trying to decide which lap she was going to grace with her presence for the rest of that evening. 

We three boys would usually compete for her attention, patting our laps and saying “here, kitty, kitty.” Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes the boy who made the most fuss over getting her would win the privilege of having her hop up onto his lap and settle down for the entire evening. 

But sometimes, cats being the fickle creatures they are, she would ignore the people who wanted her the most and hop up onto the lap of the person who didn’t want her at all (Serves them right for ignoring her)! 

And then, her decision made, she would curl up into a ball or stretch out on your legs and fall asleep for the evening, her sleep only interrupted by her happy purring when you scratched her behind the ear or on the belly. 

One night, I earned the privilege of having the cat on my lap for the entire evening. I was petting her and scratching her on the belly and she was happily purring and sleeping. Life was good. 

But then the situation changed drastically: 

All of a sudden, I had to go to the bathroom! 

Ever try to remove a cat from your lap when the cat didn’t want to leave?  

A cat on your lap is like a prospector staking out a claim; once they claim their spot, they ain’t a-movin’ no matter what!    

When I tried to pick the cat up and put her on the couch she used her front claws to dig into my pant legs and hang on for dear life! When I finally freed myself from her left set of claws, I would next try to get the right set out of my leg. And as I was focusing on the right set, the cat would then dig back into my legs again with the left set. 

And all the while my call of nature was getting louder and louder! 

After about a minute or so of this battle of wills, I finally got both sets of claws out of my legs at the same time and set the cat aside on the couch so I could answer nature’s call.

By the time I got back to the couch the cat had hopped onto the floor and was walking off in a huff, unhappy with the fact that her evening plans had been ruined by some inconsiderate person who put his own needs ahead of hers. 

Not wanting to lose her attention in the future, I would then try to coax the cat back onto my lap. Luckily, she forgave me and came back and hopped into my lap again and settled down for the rest of the evening. And life was good again. 

This scenario was repeated on all the family laps many times over the twenty years we had that cat. We smile about the memory now. It was just our cat being a cat and we wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Our cat was a good cat who loved her family and filled our lives and laps with many happy memories over her lifetime. 

Hope your cats gave you some happy memories as well!

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