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Friendship

December 7, 2018   ·   0 Comments

By Jasen Obermeyer

Recently, I hung out with a childhood friend. Him and I grabbed a bit to eat, and saw a movie. It was the first time in five years we interacted.

Friends create some of the happiest moments of your life. And some of the worst.

Growing up, I had a group of friends. The core six of us did a lot together, both as a group, and amongst two or three. We had birthday parties, hung out on the weekends playing video games, going outside, and just having the time of our lives.

No friendship is perfect; you have fights here and there, differences of opinions. You can’t all like everything the exact same. But a friendship is not one where everyday you’re miserable, you hate going to school. That’s what happened to me.

It all started during the early months of Grade. 7. A friend of mine moved and was put on my bus route. I thought it was great, because I considered him my closest, best friend. However, he interacted more with the older kids, who were a bad influence on him. He changed. In a matter of months, he became my biggest, most hated enemy. My bus ride was an hour long, and let me tell you, those were some very long, difficult rides.

The influence that took my friend soon spread to the rest of the group. Soon, I was alone, cast out. I truly hated those last two years in elementary.

To this day I can’t fully pinpoint where it all fell apart. I wonder, was it my fault? Was it something I did? Why did this happen? It’s not unusual for friends to drift apart, but this wasn’t right.

Come high school, I was relieved. I thought this was a chance for a fresh start. But my old scars started to re-open almost right from the beginning. My nightmares came back to haunt me.

Those long, miserable days became just ordinary life. Looking back, I truly wish I had a better high school life. I just drifted from group to group, never feeling truly in. One point, I was with a group that didn’t really care how I felt about being treated, if I was a friend or not. But wanting interaction, I stayed with them, with some good days and most, bad.

However, I was able to make some (supposedly) new friends. Things got better come Grade. 11. At that point, I actually mended my friendships with some members from the old group, not hanging out, but just talking. Others I began hanging out with.

During university, I kept relatively to myself. But come third year, I became part of a group, and it was great, though it didn’t last long.

During my graduation ceremony, I thought as I said bye to some friends “This is it. Last time I’ll ever see you.” Because I knew from experience that friendship was over because it was only strong with school. And unfortunately for most, it was.

Throughout my time, I’ve lost friends for many reasons, the worst being my paranoia. It constantly got the better of me. I lost all trust in anyone. I shut potential friends out; people I realize now were genuine. It caused me to be a scar on one of my oldest friends. For two years, Kevin and I didn’t get along, and it pains me to think of those times, when I was the one doing the hurting.

Friendship today has certainly changed. I believe those in my time (starting mid-90’s) have allowed technological communication, particularly social media and cellphones, to hinder friendships, make them weak.

Friends don’t just Like or Comment on Facebook.

Using a cellphone to talk, I would get paranoid when I sent the text. I don’t know how that person will respond to my message, or what they truly mean. This one friend, her and I were really close during high school, still kept in touch. But this one night, sending texts back and forth, she misinterpreted a text of mine. Instantly, the friendship was gone. It was like watching myself, and I was unable to do anything. I tried my best to salvage the friendship, but there was nothing I could do.

I try and have a conversation with friends face-to-face. Sometimes, I’ll even call and talk to them, which is better than text. I’ll call to wish a Merry Christmas, or Happy Birthday. Friends are not just a name and number in a phone; they are a person with feelings.

Today I have a handful of close friends. Kevin and I still hangout. I still see a couple from high school, and university, those who were true, made the effort. One friend, Marcus, was actually someone I hated (his feeling was mutual) since the early days of elementary, but in a weird – but very good – way, became close friends in high school.

The friend I saw recently, him and I never went to school together, we became friends though our mothers. He went through some personal problems, and shunned myself, and others out. Now though, I have hope that all is not lost.


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