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Change

March 8, 2018   ·   0 Comments

By Jasen Obermeyer

“The only constant is change. All good things must come to an end.”

I’ve heard those phrases many, many times, and I still don’t like them.

I don’t like change. I make it very known to my family and friends. And they tell me they know I don’t like change. Change is something I’ve had to deal with and struggle all my life.

Now, fortunately, most changes end up being good things, a blessing in disguise. Change truly does happen constantly, and when you think about it, it happens from the smallest detail in your life, to the biggest.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to deal with and accept change a bit easier, but why is it so difficult? Why am I so against it?

I’m an organized person, not that I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). I don’t plan my entire one, my every day right down to the last second. I’m not Sheldon Cooper. But I like to know what’s ahead, prepare myself to embrace it, and when something creeps up and smacks me in the face, it stings.

Certain friends and family members love change, they embrace it. They always do things spontaneously, and I have tried to do that as well, and you know what? When I do that, I find it fun. Although I still don’t do it often, I’ve found it’s a good thing, by being spontaneous and accepting change, it’s easier to deal with.

Now me personally, whether a change impacts me directly or not, it doesn’t matter.

For instance, I remember when I was about 12 and my parents told me one of my first cousins was moving to London for a year, I broke down in tears. I was asking to speak with her, maybe change her mind. I thought of the worst thing, that she’d live there forever. Weird huh, I see her a few times a year, and her moving away for 365 days would impact me? Well it didn’t, it just made me feel a little sad that I couldn’t see for what felt like a long time.

When my older sister moved out during her time at university that was even weirder. She was never away from home, and all of sudden she’s not around. Sure, it was nice at times to have the television all to myself, but I still didn’t like not having her around.

Last year was a big year of change, and actually, almost all of it was good.

I graduated from university, which was an exciting but scary change. Yes, I can always go back to school, but for the time being, out in the “real world” after spending my whole life in school, it was definitely an adjustment.

Around the time of my graduation, my brother and his girlfriend got engaged (fiancé, I still need to get used to referring her as that.) This change was weird, but in a great way. I’m so happy for the two of them, but again, it’s not like every day my brother gets engaged. Before he even met his fiancé he said he wouldn’t get married. So when we and the other groomsmen went to get fittings for our suits, I kept thinking, “never thought I’d be doing this.” But it’s great, having a sister-in-law (bonus, she’s awesome and we all like her).

Now, these changes have either not impacted me, or been for the good. There are changes that weren’t for the best for my family and myself. When my dad found a job at Lowe’s, it was the night shift, and only the night shift. For over two years everyone had to adjust to my dad’s schedule, only seeing him for a couple hours a day, sometimes – depending on my school schedule – I wouldn’t see him for a couple days straight. This change was not fun. Having to be quiet all the time, not having friends and family over, it was difficult and I never accepted it. Fortunately, last fall, my dad found a day job in Orangeville, and everything is pretty much back to normal.

Probably the biggest change, again last year, was the selling of our house. Now, we’ve been planning this for a couple years, but if you’ve read up to this point, you know I didn’t like it. This is something I’ve had to struggle with, and will continue to until we move end of next month. My whole life has been in that house, and suddenly it’s ending.

After giving all these examples, I can still go on and on and on. Why is that change is either embraced or feared by others? Why is that after every semester, I wished I was in the previous one, or after graduation, I wanted to stay in that certain school?

Maybe, since I went through that semester, if I redid it, I knew what to expect, it seemed easier after, and a schedule I was used to.

I can’t fully change myself around how I feel about change, but maybe I can start in small steps, make it easier to deal with.

Change is truly constant, and fortunately, whenever it might turn out to actually be bad, there’s always something good that will happen.

         

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